On the Ethics of Multiple Relationships

I’m writing this from my hotel room in Santa Rosa, California, where I’m attending the Western Association for Counselor Education and Supervision (WACES) biennial conference. Being here, thousands of miles from Guam, reminds me of how I often crave the sense of anonymity that is lost in living on Guam. I walked to the local coffee shop in sweats, knowing I wouldn’t see the barista the next day. I grabbed dinner solo, without worrying that I’d run into coworkers, students or former clients.

Anyone living on Guam knows that it’s more likely than not that you’ll run into someone you know at the local grocery store. Although there is something comforting about the idea that “everyone knows your name,” this close-knit sense of community poses unique challenges for those of us in helping professions where dual relationships are frequent and boundaries might be difficult to negotiate.

A discussion on ethics with Guam counselors can’t happen without touching on this topic of dual relationships and managing boundaries. The ASCA Ethical Standards cautions counselors to avoid dual relationships that might impair a counselor’s objectivity. The ethical standards provide examples of these relationships, including counseling one’s family members or the children of close friends or associates. If I asked my counseling students how many of them provide some service to a family member (even third cousin, since that’s still family, right?), I’d guess most of them would say they have to some degree.

Since Guam’s landscape doesn’t permit providers to avoid dual relationships, the conversation becomes about managing boundaries and maintaining appropriate relationships with our students and clients. There is no perfect way of working with your cousin’s daughter’s best friend, who happens to be your neighbor. But recognizing that dual relationships are often presented, we can ask ourselves, “How can I ensure I’m maintaining boundaries most appropriately?” This response can be as simple as cleaning out your presence on social media or removing yourself from certain group chats. It can be using peers as consultants for working through situations with dual relationships. It can also be taking a step back from additional activities that might position you in difficult situations.

I often discuss this reality with my student counselors, reminding them to consider how they’d deal with these situations. I continue to struggle with some of my own dual relationships and question if I’m managing boundaries appropriately. Unfortunately, like most areas in counseling, there is no one way to deal with every situation that we encounter. Revisiting ethical decision-making models, consultation, and constant supervision (even as a practicing professional) is necessary for not only maintaining peace of mind, but also providing the most ethical services to our clients – even our mother-in-law’s first cousin’s godson.

KristiAnna S. Whitman, Ph.D., is an assistant professor of Counseling at the University of Guam.