Warning: Low Battery, Recharge with Self-Compassion

Self-care. If you are like many school counselors who may be feeling overwhelmed right now, you might think, “I don’t have time for that.” How about the word self-compassion? Does self-compassion feel more manageable? School counselors are compassionate people, so self-compassion should be easy, right?

Difference Between Self-Care and Self-Compassion

I recently decided to stop checking off items on my to-do list of “self-care.” Rather, I am trying to embrace the idea of how we can have compassion for ourselves. Self-compassion should not feel like a task to check off a list, which may cause you to feel pressured, forced or burdened. Self-compassion includes three elements:

1. extending kindness and understanding to oneself rather than harsh self-criticism and judgment
2. seeing one’s experiences as part of the larger human experience rather than as separating and isolating
3. holding one’s painful thoughts and feelings in balanced awareness rather than over-identifying with them

This mindful compassion and non-judgmental attitude we extend to ourselves is important in our work with others. You may be familiar with the story “Have You Filled a Bucket Today?” by McCloud. We will have a hard time filling someone else’s bucket if our own bucket is empty. And you’ve probably heard the phrase “treat others the way you want to be treated.” As school counselors, maybe we need to start “treating ourselves the way we treat others.”

Perhaps you have also seen the meme of the image on your cell phone when the battery is low. We would not let our cell phone battery die, so why do we let ourselves become drained to the point of mental or physical exhaustion?

Self-compassion is not something we can just work into our calendar. It is a mandate for all in our profession. The American School Counselor Association’s ethical standard B.3.f. states that school counselors must monitor not only our physical health, but our emotional health, so that we can make certain that we are functioning with professionalism. To practice ethically means to be aware of our mental, physical and emotional symptoms that could be signs of stress or burnout.

Differences Between Stress and Burnout

School counselors are familiar with stress. We get up and go to work, never knowing what each day will bring. We may have large caseloads that create challenges in meeting the needs of our students. We may be the only school counselor in our building, juggling multiple roles throughout the day. We deal with countless student concerns. Then we go home and try to rest and do it all over again the next day. However, what we see as everyday stress often can lead to burnout.

Burnout is defined as “emotional fatigue, disengagement, irritability, and apathy resulting from the work environment.” Sources of burnout can include lack of time to serve all students, large caseloads, overload of non-counseling duties, and unsupportive administration/staff. Stress and burnout left unchecked can lead to decreased effectiveness and thus negatively impact our work with students.

Combatting Stress and Burnout

One way to combat stress and burnout is through participation in continued professional supervision. This does not mean regular supervision with your principal or collaborating with your fellow school counselor. Kim and Lambie state that “Clinical supervision is essential for school counselors to get support and learn how to intervene with their clients effectively.” Even though we have finished our graduate programs and the practicum and internship hours, that does not mean we have to cease receiving continued supervision, which can especially be beneficial for rural counselors or lone counselors in their building.

Mental health is important not only for students but also for school counselors. If we do not self-reflect and consider how we are doing throughout the year, we could find ourselves faced with overwhelming stress or burnout. During these past couple of months, we are right there in the midst of the chaos with everyone. How are we taking care of ourselves? What are we doing to ensure that we are mentally, physically and emotionally well? We need to recognize that it is okay to not be okay. We might put on a strong smile for everyone else, but we can only hold up the façade for so long.

Consider how you are handling the change, stress, and everything else going on. Maybe you need to find a school counselor supervisor, create a daily schedule to keep you on track or get some fresh air each day. Self-compassion will look different for each person. Find what helps keep your battery recharged. Find what helps you continue to have a full bucket so you can keep serving your students and your community. But most important, remember to reach out if you need support for your well-being.

Suzanne Scott, MACC, LPC, NBCT, is a school counselor and WySCA elementary representative. Contact her at sscott@crb1.net. Complete references are available from the author.