President’s Letter: ABC’s for Families
By Aimee Hospodarsky | April 2018
For school counselors, working with families is a crucial element of our job. Each child exists as part of a family of some kind and building a relationship with the family can open doors to helping a student. A variety of barriers can interfere with this. However, if we can find ways to overcome the obstacles, we will be closer to helping students find success. We need to remember that working with families is often about building relationships, which is one of the most basic foundations of what school counselors do. Even though we’ve read and heard strategies for doing this many times before, sometimes a reminder is helpful and we may find new meaning or perspective with ideas we consider in a new way. Since we’re going back to the basics, let’s start with the ABC’s of building relationships with families.
- Assume that every parent wants what they believe is best for their child.
- Build bridges to families…and remember that this can take a good deal of time, sometimes even multiple school years.
- Communicate in their language if you can or use translations, and include posters in your building in languages other than English.
- Demonstrate your commitment to their child.
- Engage them in a variety of ways other than parent/teacher conferences – through activities, student performances or hosting cultural events in your building.
- Find something positive about every family you work with. This can help frame your thinking as you work with them.
- Good news phone calls are a great way to connect with parents.
- Have family members in as guest speakers.
- Interactive homework, given by you or by teachers, can be a way to build relationships both at home and at school.
- Just listen…sometimes that is all that is needed.
- Keep trying, even with the families that are the most difficult. Just like our students, they may be the ones who need us most.
- Leave your office door open when you’re not meeting with anyone and parents are in the building, to invite them to stop in and chat.
- Make sure that your school environment promotes diversity and is a welcoming environment for all families.
- Network with parents to find ways they can support your school counseling program, such as speakers for different careers or mentors for students.
- Observe the interactions of a student within their family and use that to help you understand and empathize with the student.
- Play to their strengths, whatever they may be. Have a parent that is artistic? Let them handle your bulletin boards!
- Quit blaming and judging; it won’t have a positive outcome.
- Recognize their struggles and barriers, and assist them in getting connected to the help and support they need.
- Share communication in a variety of ways in order to reach as many families as possible.
- Tell good stories about their child. Most parents enjoy hearing this.
- Use them as volunteers for school events, or even as members of your Advisory Council.
- Value them as partners, and work with them as such.
- Welcome new families to your building with a personal tour, including some time to get to know them.
- eXamine your biases and ensure they don’t influence your dealings with families.
- Yelling? Yikes…yucky.
- Zero in on what works, and continue those strategies!
Congratulations, Elley Sabino