Navigate the Ethics of Family Engagement
By Haley D. Wikoff, Ph.D., and Wendy D. Rock, Ph.D. | March 2026
School counselors’ ethical obligations extend beyond student confidentiality to include actively engaging families in their children’s education. School counselors must balance respecting student privacy, involving families in the counseling process, advocating for inclusivity and addressing systemic barriers.
The ASCA Ethical Standards for School Counselors emphasize the school counselor’s obligation to student confidentiality while recognizing the rights of parents/guardians to be involved in their children’s lives. Effective, ongoing communication and trust building with both students and parents/guardians are key. It would be important to provide clarity, for Alex, on the specific circumstances under which information can be kept confidential. ASCA Ethical Standard A.2.e reminds us to address these limits in developmentally appropriate terms and through multiple methods. Although we have a primary obligation of confidentiality to the student, we must balance that responsibility with the parents’/guardians’ right to be the guiding voice in their child’s life.
You can help Alex by providing support and resources, which may include exploring the underlying reasons for Alex’s anxiety and developing coping strategies to manage it effectively. You can also offer resources and referrals to outside support services if needed. In balancing Alex’s confidentiality and well-being, you may consider a collaborative approach that respects both Alex’s autonomy and the importance of parent/guardian involvement. This could involve having an open and honest conversation with Alex about the potential benefits of involving his parents/ guardians in his support network and discussing the benefits of this involvement.
Ultimately, you must use your professional judgment to assess the situation carefully and make decisions that prioritize Alex’s best interests while respecting his autonomy and the rights of parents/ guardians. By maintaining open communication, fostering trust and collaborating with all parties involved, you can effectively support Alex in managing his anxiety and navigating his future plans.
School counselors play a pivotal role in fostering an inclusive environment that respects diverse family structures and identities. ASCA Ethical Standard A.10.b encourages school counselors to actively work to establish a safe, equitable and affirming school environment where all members of the school community feel safe and included.
In this instance, you should first provide a safe and confidential space for Jordan and her family to express their concerns and feelings. It’s important to validate their feelings of discomfort and concern. Letting them know that their feelings are valid can help them feel understood and supported. Next, advocate for policy changes promoting inclusivity and respect for diversity. Suggest to administration that the school adopt more inclusive activities that don’t reinforce traditional gender roles, thereby creating a school environment that is welcoming and affirming for all families, including those from the LGBTQ+ community.
Some examples could include Breakfast with Buddies, Family Fun Day, Students and Special People events. By advocating for policies and practices celebrating diversity, you can ensure all families feel welcomed and valued. This involves training staff on inclusive practices and creating spaces for open dialogue among families, promoting understanding and mutual respect.
In this scenario, school counselors act as change agents, leveraging their position to foster a school climate that respects and values diversity in family structures, as guided by the ethical mandate to promote equity and dignity for all students and their families. This approach not only supports Jordan’s family but also educates the school community on the importance of inclusivity and the recognition of diverse family dynamics.
Leading conversations with the PTA on the school counselor’s role and function is a valuable opportunity to clarify misconceptions, communicate effectively and foster trust and understanding within the school community. Begin by providing a clear overview of the school counselor’s role. Highlight that school counselors are highly trained professionals with expertise in supporting students’ academic, career and social/emotional development. Underscore the proactive and preventive measures school counselors take to support all students, with an emphasis on equity, access and success for every student. Detail the support services school counselors offer, including individual counseling, group counseling, crisis intervention, academic advising, career exploration and college planning. Explain how you work collaboratively with teachers, administrators and families to support students’ overall success.
In addressing confidentiality, explain your ethical responsibility to maintain confidentiality to build a trusting relationship, and make clear confidentiality is breached in situations such as suspected abuse or neglect, imminent danger to self or others, or court orders. Explain that your primary obligation is to support students and you do that while balancing the legal right of the parents/guardians to be the guiding voice in their child’s life.
It’s critical to stress the importance of parent/guardian involvement in their child’s education and well-being and that school counselors work to partner with parents/guardians to support their child at school.
Encourage parents/guardians to have regular conversations with their children about their experiences, concerns and goals – they are the primary support system for their children. Encourage them to communicate openly with you and to actively participate in the school counseling process when appropriate. Assure them that you’re accessible and approachable for resources to support them and their children. Provide information on how parents/ guardians can contact you and schedule appointments if needed.
Navigating the ethical waters of family engagement in school counseling requires a nuanced understanding of confidentiality, inclusivity and accessibility. By adhering to the ASCA Ethical Standards and combining professional judgment, cultural sensitivity and advocacy, you can effectively support the diverse needs of all students and their families.
Haley D. Wikoff, Ph.D., is co-chair of the ASCA Ethics Committee and an assistant professor at Western Illinois University. Wendy Rock, Ph.D., is chair of the ASCA Ethics Committee and an associate professor at Southeastern Louisiana University. If you have questions about school counseling ethics, email ethics@schoolcounselor.org.
Respecting Student Privacy vs. Involving Parents/Guardians
Alex, a high school student, confides in you about experiencing anxiety due to his desire to go to college rather than stay home and work in the family business. Alex requests your confidentiality, fearing parental disapproval. Do you respect his wish for confidentiality or involve his parents/guardians to better support him?The ASCA Ethical Standards for School Counselors emphasize the school counselor’s obligation to student confidentiality while recognizing the rights of parents/guardians to be involved in their children’s lives. Effective, ongoing communication and trust building with both students and parents/guardians are key. It would be important to provide clarity, for Alex, on the specific circumstances under which information can be kept confidential. ASCA Ethical Standard A.2.e reminds us to address these limits in developmentally appropriate terms and through multiple methods. Although we have a primary obligation of confidentiality to the student, we must balance that responsibility with the parents’/guardians’ right to be the guiding voice in their child’s life.
You can help Alex by providing support and resources, which may include exploring the underlying reasons for Alex’s anxiety and developing coping strategies to manage it effectively. You can also offer resources and referrals to outside support services if needed. In balancing Alex’s confidentiality and well-being, you may consider a collaborative approach that respects both Alex’s autonomy and the importance of parent/guardian involvement. This could involve having an open and honest conversation with Alex about the potential benefits of involving his parents/ guardians in his support network and discussing the benefits of this involvement.
Ultimately, you must use your professional judgment to assess the situation carefully and make decisions that prioritize Alex’s best interests while respecting his autonomy and the rights of parents/ guardians. By maintaining open communication, fostering trust and collaborating with all parties involved, you can effectively support Alex in managing his anxiety and navigating his future plans.
Inclusive Family Engagement
Jordan, an elementary student, comes to you with some discomfort about the school’s gender norms during family engagement activities such as Muffins with Moms and Donuts with Dads, mother/ son or daddy/daughter events, among others. With parents who are members of the LGBTQ+ community, Jordan’s family fears the potential repercussions from other families should they choose to participate. How can you support Jordan and Jordan’s parents in navigating this complex situation?School counselors play a pivotal role in fostering an inclusive environment that respects diverse family structures and identities. ASCA Ethical Standard A.10.b encourages school counselors to actively work to establish a safe, equitable and affirming school environment where all members of the school community feel safe and included.
In this instance, you should first provide a safe and confidential space for Jordan and her family to express their concerns and feelings. It’s important to validate their feelings of discomfort and concern. Letting them know that their feelings are valid can help them feel understood and supported. Next, advocate for policy changes promoting inclusivity and respect for diversity. Suggest to administration that the school adopt more inclusive activities that don’t reinforce traditional gender roles, thereby creating a school environment that is welcoming and affirming for all families, including those from the LGBTQ+ community.
Some examples could include Breakfast with Buddies, Family Fun Day, Students and Special People events. By advocating for policies and practices celebrating diversity, you can ensure all families feel welcomed and valued. This involves training staff on inclusive practices and creating spaces for open dialogue among families, promoting understanding and mutual respect.
In this scenario, school counselors act as change agents, leveraging their position to foster a school climate that respects and values diversity in family structures, as guided by the ethical mandate to promote equity and dignity for all students and their families. This approach not only supports Jordan’s family but also educates the school community on the importance of inclusivity and the recognition of diverse family dynamics.
Allies in Education
Administration recently asked you to lead a series of conversations with the PTA on the school counselor’s role and function. What are the most important points addressing who school counselors are, what they do and how they support students, and school counselors’ ethical responsibility around confidentiality?Leading conversations with the PTA on the school counselor’s role and function is a valuable opportunity to clarify misconceptions, communicate effectively and foster trust and understanding within the school community. Begin by providing a clear overview of the school counselor’s role. Highlight that school counselors are highly trained professionals with expertise in supporting students’ academic, career and social/emotional development. Underscore the proactive and preventive measures school counselors take to support all students, with an emphasis on equity, access and success for every student. Detail the support services school counselors offer, including individual counseling, group counseling, crisis intervention, academic advising, career exploration and college planning. Explain how you work collaboratively with teachers, administrators and families to support students’ overall success.
In addressing confidentiality, explain your ethical responsibility to maintain confidentiality to build a trusting relationship, and make clear confidentiality is breached in situations such as suspected abuse or neglect, imminent danger to self or others, or court orders. Explain that your primary obligation is to support students and you do that while balancing the legal right of the parents/guardians to be the guiding voice in their child’s life.
It’s critical to stress the importance of parent/guardian involvement in their child’s education and well-being and that school counselors work to partner with parents/guardians to support their child at school.
Encourage parents/guardians to have regular conversations with their children about their experiences, concerns and goals – they are the primary support system for their children. Encourage them to communicate openly with you and to actively participate in the school counseling process when appropriate. Assure them that you’re accessible and approachable for resources to support them and their children. Provide information on how parents/ guardians can contact you and schedule appointments if needed.
Navigating the ethical waters of family engagement in school counseling requires a nuanced understanding of confidentiality, inclusivity and accessibility. By adhering to the ASCA Ethical Standards and combining professional judgment, cultural sensitivity and advocacy, you can effectively support the diverse needs of all students and their families.
Haley D. Wikoff, Ph.D., is co-chair of the ASCA Ethics Committee and an assistant professor at Western Illinois University. Wendy Rock, Ph.D., is chair of the ASCA Ethics Committee and an associate professor at Southeastern Louisiana University. If you have questions about school counseling ethics, email ethics@schoolcounselor.org.