Reframe the SEL Conversation
By Cindy Bourget | May 2026
We often face the debate: are school counseling programs teaching “values?” Do school counseling programs have “value?” How do we advocate for our program and our students when everyone seems to have their own idea of what is really happening within the school counselor’s office?
To do this, we can use the ASCA Student Standards, particularly the behavior standards, to focus on “employability skills” rather than SEL. This is a monumental shift in how families and other education partners without a background in school counseling look at the student behavior standards.
Imagine you’re working on impulse control with a middle school student who repeatedly makes inappropriate jokes. When you talk with the student’s family, they believe their child shouldn’t be getting in trouble since the jokes “aren’t that bad” or “we’re just being too sensitive.” If we allow that to be the conversation, we allow the assumption that school counselors teach values. If, instead, we frame the conversation around a skill, the focus becomes supporting students’ future success as adults/employees. In this example, the focus is having the social maturity and behaviors appropriate for the situation and environment (B-SS 9.) Being able to act with behaviors appropriate to the situation, such as a workplace environment, is a skill all students need to master. When we make this situation about the skill of being able to talk differently with friends than in the classroom (and eventually the workplace), the conversation is no longer about a value or belief; it is about school counselors helping students develop life skills.
How staff deliver Tier 1 content varies with each school. Teachers might give a school-counselor-provided employability skill lesson during homeroom or morning circle time. Or, school counselors can work with departments to link parts of the curriculum to the ASCA Student Standards. For example, in a statewide Wisconsin test, students must interpret literature based upon characters’ choices – a natural place to work with students on the employability skills of empathy (B-SS 4.) or effective coping skills (B-SMS 7.).
Employability skills also support a healthy relationship with the community and families, because all want students to succeed in school and beyond. Helping staff link employability skills to what they’re required to teach academically aids all education partners in seeing how these skills apply to the workplace and life, while also preventing the question of values from even coming up. And students can only master these employability skills if they get to practice them.
Let’s go back to the student making inappropriate jokes in class. In our school, we provide families with a discipline matrix at the beginning of the year. This matrix outlines different types of behaviors, the disciplinary response connected to that behavior and the employability skill the student will be supported with if that behavior happens. No values are involved; it’s a clear if/then process paired with a lacking skill. The matrix would make clear from the beginning that students are working on the skill of having the social maturity and behaviors appropriate for the situation and environment (B-SS 9.), so it’s a natural next step for struggling students, as shown through their discipline data, to move to Tier 2, which could include a small group with the school counselor.
School counselors in younger grades can also make use of a discipline matrix. To use a common example, if a first-grader is routinely sent to the office for hitting staff and students when having to come in from recess, the discipline matrix for physical aggression could link to the employability skills of self-discipline and self-control (B-SMS 2.) and the ability to manage transitions and change (B-SMS 10.)
Partnering with your administrator to build these behavior and discipline systems alongside academic professional learning community (PLC) work creates an environment where the employability skills support the academic achievement goals of the students and staff.
At Elk Mound Middle School in Elk Mound, Wis., we use a universal Tier 1 for employability skills, Tier 2 behavior supports based upon employability skills and an academic PLC model based on identifying and supporting lacking skills consistent with each academic lesson. This approach has let us share some incredible success data with our education partners. In four years, student perception of feeling like their teachers care about them has increased 51%, and the number of students testing at proficient or advanced level on the state test has increased 43% in math and 71% in English language arts.
We’ve also been able to share data about the success of the school counseling program’s Tier 2 interventions in a language the community understands: employability skills. For example, in the Mighty Minds Group, focused on the employability skill of using effective coping skills (B-SMS 7.), participants have shown an average attendance increase of at least five days a semester, moving many from the chronically absent category. This is now an annual group and the catalyst for districtwide discussions surrounding truancy and attendance policies. Seeing such improvement in student attendance (also an employability skill) through something as simple as an attendance group engaged education partners across the district.
Sharing our successes through data focused on employability skills helps keep everyone out of the values debate and focused instead on the skills students need to be successful adults.
Remember, advocacy doesn’t always have to look the same. Advocacy is helping build systems that have worth – systems that aren’t based in values but in skills.
Cindy Bourget is a school counselor at Elk Mound Middle School, a RAMP® school in Elk Mound, Wis., and a 2024 School Counselor of the Year finalist. Contact her at cbourget@elkmound.k12.wi.us.
Skills vs. Values
We can start with how we talk to teachers, community members and families about what we teach. The ASCA Student Standards: Mindsets & Behaviors for Student Success allow us to draw a new picture of what we do for our community while providing students skills to succeed in and out of the classroom.To do this, we can use the ASCA Student Standards, particularly the behavior standards, to focus on “employability skills” rather than SEL. This is a monumental shift in how families and other education partners without a background in school counseling look at the student behavior standards.
Imagine you’re working on impulse control with a middle school student who repeatedly makes inappropriate jokes. When you talk with the student’s family, they believe their child shouldn’t be getting in trouble since the jokes “aren’t that bad” or “we’re just being too sensitive.” If we allow that to be the conversation, we allow the assumption that school counselors teach values. If, instead, we frame the conversation around a skill, the focus becomes supporting students’ future success as adults/employees. In this example, the focus is having the social maturity and behaviors appropriate for the situation and environment (B-SS 9.) Being able to act with behaviors appropriate to the situation, such as a workplace environment, is a skill all students need to master. When we make this situation about the skill of being able to talk differently with friends than in the classroom (and eventually the workplace), the conversation is no longer about a value or belief; it is about school counselors helping students develop life skills.
Tier 1 Content
Another way to help students access these skills is via Tier 1 education provided by all staff and based on employability skills. This ensures students are learning and practicing the ASCA Student Standards beyond the school counseling office and that staff are advocating for the school counseling program just by teaching their content.How staff deliver Tier 1 content varies with each school. Teachers might give a school-counselor-provided employability skill lesson during homeroom or morning circle time. Or, school counselors can work with departments to link parts of the curriculum to the ASCA Student Standards. For example, in a statewide Wisconsin test, students must interpret literature based upon characters’ choices – a natural place to work with students on the employability skills of empathy (B-SS 4.) or effective coping skills (B-SMS 7.).
Employability skills also support a healthy relationship with the community and families, because all want students to succeed in school and beyond. Helping staff link employability skills to what they’re required to teach academically aids all education partners in seeing how these skills apply to the workplace and life, while also preventing the question of values from even coming up. And students can only master these employability skills if they get to practice them.
Employability Skills and Discipline
Although discipline conversations with families can often turn into arguments over values, they are another opportunity for us to frame the conversation around student skills.Let’s go back to the student making inappropriate jokes in class. In our school, we provide families with a discipline matrix at the beginning of the year. This matrix outlines different types of behaviors, the disciplinary response connected to that behavior and the employability skill the student will be supported with if that behavior happens. No values are involved; it’s a clear if/then process paired with a lacking skill. The matrix would make clear from the beginning that students are working on the skill of having the social maturity and behaviors appropriate for the situation and environment (B-SS 9.), so it’s a natural next step for struggling students, as shown through their discipline data, to move to Tier 2, which could include a small group with the school counselor.
School counselors in younger grades can also make use of a discipline matrix. To use a common example, if a first-grader is routinely sent to the office for hitting staff and students when having to come in from recess, the discipline matrix for physical aggression could link to the employability skills of self-discipline and self-control (B-SMS 2.) and the ability to manage transitions and change (B-SMS 10.)
Share Your Student Success
Helping education partners apply the ASCA Student Standards requires intentional use of the skills throughout the entire school. Using the language of the student behaviors in Tier 1 for behavior, discipline and student support will also help the employability skills tie in with academic needs and success.Partnering with your administrator to build these behavior and discipline systems alongside academic professional learning community (PLC) work creates an environment where the employability skills support the academic achievement goals of the students and staff.
At Elk Mound Middle School in Elk Mound, Wis., we use a universal Tier 1 for employability skills, Tier 2 behavior supports based upon employability skills and an academic PLC model based on identifying and supporting lacking skills consistent with each academic lesson. This approach has let us share some incredible success data with our education partners. In four years, student perception of feeling like their teachers care about them has increased 51%, and the number of students testing at proficient or advanced level on the state test has increased 43% in math and 71% in English language arts.
We’ve also been able to share data about the success of the school counseling program’s Tier 2 interventions in a language the community understands: employability skills. For example, in the Mighty Minds Group, focused on the employability skill of using effective coping skills (B-SMS 7.), participants have shown an average attendance increase of at least five days a semester, moving many from the chronically absent category. This is now an annual group and the catalyst for districtwide discussions surrounding truancy and attendance policies. Seeing such improvement in student attendance (also an employability skill) through something as simple as an attendance group engaged education partners across the district.
Sharing our successes through data focused on employability skills helps keep everyone out of the values debate and focused instead on the skills students need to be successful adults.
Remember, advocacy doesn’t always have to look the same. Advocacy is helping build systems that have worth – systems that aren’t based in values but in skills.
Cindy Bourget is a school counselor at Elk Mound Middle School, a RAMP® school in Elk Mound, Wis., and a 2024 School Counselor of the Year finalist. Contact her at cbourget@elkmound.k12.wi.us.